Keep a tight grip and follow me this way

Come, come closer to the screen so that I can grab you in a friendly chokehold. It's been so much fun doing this kind of blog that I've agreed to do pretty much the same thing at Ayyyy!, The Manolo's latest blog. It's categorised as a celebrity blog but never you fear, there will also be opportunities for runway roadkill, little dogs and other strange things that I may want to foist upon you.

But because I have a day job which I can't quit because I'm so tremendously good at..racking at debts, for now this blog will be on hiatus. I will continue to monitor all developments and keep you informed if the situation changes. In the meantime, see you round the corner at Ayyyy!

You're all going to stay here until I find out who did it

She promised not to get angry but still nobody would make eye contact with her, let alone own up to tampering with her outfit.

This is what becomes of all the impulse buying

I never let my closetful of cute clothes stop me from having an "I've got nothing to wear!" moment!

I'm a gonna punch your face in until it's full of glitter

We found her skills were totally transferable

Sometimes our modelling agency picks up girls who have run away from the circus. It helps that they have worked with clowns and wild beasts before.

The paparazzi were foiled once more

There's no way I will ever let you snap a photo of my gleaming red eyes and cloven feet!

I'm thinking of taking up children's ballet again

She had performed dismally in ballet classes as a child, but after many many years she finally felt confident enough to put on her old costume and give it another go.

Help, this dress seems to be creeping up on me

Pretty soon, my breasts will be completely covered!

Tiny dancer in my hand

Fifi hadn't planned to buy any new clothes during his Bali getaway, but somebody had made off with his scruffy backpacker clothes and this was the only thing he could find in his size at the resort's gift shop.

The United Nations sent me

Now release those refugees or I'll pump you full of candy bullets, take you home and set my kids loose on their new human pinata.