Friday, March 31, 2006

Simple pleasures

"Yippee, it's haircut and tight t-shirt day today!" cried Maddox Jolie-Pitt

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Never go brawling in a kimono

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Recycling dead blondes was her hobby

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Please see a doctor for further advice

Pretty soon the disease had spread from her genitals to the rest of her body.

Monday, March 27, 2006

They told me I"d be working with Shakira

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Crackhead: The Musical

I got rhythm
I got music
I got Kate Moss
Who could ask for anything more?

I snort candy
In my nose,
I smoke heroin

Who could ask for anything more?

I got stardust
I got sweet stuff
I got my dealer

Who could ask for anything more?
Who could ask for anything more?

Friday, March 24, 2006

Sharon's choice

At some point in life a woman's gotta choose between keeping her face or her vagina evergreen

Thursday, March 23, 2006

The room just got a whole lot more crazier

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

The Iranian Catherine-Zeta Jones (without the grandpa-husband)

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

As pure as uncut cocaine

Monday, March 20, 2006

Tell me Clarice, have the lambs stopped jigging?

Friday, March 17, 2006

Bland and Blander

Thursday, March 16, 2006

An unsettling experience

For the first time in her life, Martha Stewart was reduced to a drivelling mess.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Evading the paparazzi

OMG photographers, quick let's turn side on and disappear!

Monday, March 13, 2006

Scouting for extras for Basic Instinct 3

Friday, March 10, 2006

Just between you and me and the police

An animal was murdered in the vicinity of my crotch. Don't touch my pants or you'll compromise the investigation.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

The rehab centre was packed with people waiting to hear Father Crackhead's sermon

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Are you kidding me?

You mean there are people who read Playboy for the articles? That's crazy. It's like saying there are people who watch my movies for the plot instead of my fine ass.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

I'm so glad I didn't end up buying that gingerbread house

It was time for Jake to go for a blatantly Oscar-bait role

Monday, March 06, 2006

The cleanest Colin Farrell has ever looked

Friday, March 03, 2006

And tell Stella her clothes suck!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Naomi, for the last time quit calling me your big ole ape

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

The side view is a little flashy for my tastes