Ring around the maypole

Ribbons, ribbons, we all fall down!

I believed him when he said it wasn't a date-type thing

Beg your pardon?

I'm sorry I can't hear you over the sound of rotten eggs splattering against me.

I styled my hair to match my broomstick

Plan B

When all else fails, bring out the overly toned legs.

And what do we think of the colour?

I forgot where I live, can I come home with you?

Country music just got a whole lot bigger

Rene's choice

Remember you only get to have sex with one of us, and it ain't me.

Don't be silly, babies can't pick up bad fashion habits at this age

No I can't remember the last time I washed myself

Oh I think I'll just sit here and keep my excitement hidden

Under the influence

When you are Paula Abdul, walking a straight line down Hollywood Boulevard is much harder than it looks

Now I know what being Katie Holmes feels like

Because golf clubs are more faithful than guitars

How to walk sexy and look unnatural doing it

Planning the great escape

Quick, while Susan isn't looking. Sweep me off my feet and carry me away!

In search of a happy ending

I don't understand this game golf. It seems like a good wank spoiled.

This concert smells of old people

Oh yeah baby, let's take this thing up a notch and...Zzzzzzzz



Nurse! I'm gonna need some flatulence deodoriser over here NOW!

Formal etiquette

At formal events, the correct placement of the tableware is crucial to avoiding embarrassment.

Not one to rest on her laurels

Next time she would stay on the mechanical horse until all of the sequins fell off.