Monday, October 31, 2005

Happy Halloween!

For an undisclosed appearance fee, she will come and eat your baby for breakfast.

Friends only when photo opportunities present themselves

Because true friends don't let each other step out of the home dressed like that.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Most definitely a top

It must be nice for Penelope Cruz to finally know the love of a man.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Just following the rules


Well the invite did say "come as you are".

Friday, October 28, 2005

Brit It girls working their street corners

Ladies, what you're selling, I ain't buying.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Finger lickin' good

James: Is it true that you hooked up with Kirstie Alley? That's so..I don't know what to say..except maybe EW! She's a Scientologist for god's sake!

Al: Ahhahahaha no!! Of course not! Just look at me, she'd eat me up like a bucket of fried chicken.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

You have to see them to believe them

Dudes, Salma's breasts are like seriously big. Huuuuge. Like, each one is bigger than my head. You so have get a picture of my head against them next time.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Who am I supposed to be dating again?

We must keep them guessing until their heads explode or we have screwed all of Hollywood, whichever comes first.

Reese Witherspoon: the Baywatch years

Monday, October 24, 2005

That..that so inviting

Sunday, October 23, 2005

There's gold in them dar boobs

Friday, October 21, 2005

My coven is strictly B-list

Don't mind Sharon, she's just slightly unhinged. After all, the leadup to Halloween is the busiest time of the year for her.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Axl Nase

Ladies and gentlemen, we remind you that the emergency exits are located here, here and here. Thank you for choosing Virgin Atlantic.

The designer ones take less time to break in


Low-rise hipsters - they're the new shoes.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Let's just pretend to hug and call it a night

OMG, I married a man who's composed entirely of sweat glands instead of flesh and blood.

But darling, moisture is the essence of wetness and wetness is the essence of beauty.

This particular model has movable arms and rib detail

As we like to say out here, you can take the girl out of the wax museum but you can't take the wax museum out of the girl.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Best in Drag Show

Up until this point, Tori Spelling's calling in life had remained a tantalising mystery.

There must be a baby elephant in there

85 weeks and counting. That's how long Demi has been gestating for had you believed the pregnancy rumours in the first place.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Sing Hallelujah, Praise teh Hotness

I too would weep tears of joy, rend my garments and fall to the ground, were I in the presence of such divine and glorious sassitude.

Friday, October 14, 2005

All stock must go

This month only, Harrods is having a CRAZY SALE on scarves. Discounts of up to 80%, even more if your children are genetically linked to you.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

It's like, we get each other, you know

Finally, Mickey had found someone who shared his taste for expensive brocade. He thought, wouldn't it be super if Jacqueline was also into botox, nosejobs, facelifts, cheek implants and collagen?

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Before Voldemort long lunches and shopping were the norm

Back in the day, Snape and McGonagall were quite the darlings of the Parisian fashion set. Then the Dark Lord appeared on the scene and all those Fashion Week invites dried up just like that.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Trust him on this one

Have regular self-examinations, mammograms and support International Breast Cancer Awareness Month.