The next best thing to body paint

He brings out the man-hater in me

You should see his face when he scores a home run

Wild speculation and gesticulation go hand in hand

It better not happen again

An inquiry into the Sienna Miller affair concluded that letting that outfit back into the UK was indeed a serious lapse in Heathrow security.

In retrospect he wasn't the best husband in the world

He never gave me enough time to finish dressing myself for the red carpet.

Look what I traded my Oscar for

After all I've done for you

I combed my hair, rented a tux and learnt how to hold a gun without fainting. Why doesn't anyone still like me?

Change of scenery

It's nice to be out and about instead of being cooped up in the morgue.

If we told you we'd have to brainwash you first

Everything is paunchier in prison stripes

Captain Caaaaaveman!

Benicio wasn't sure whether she was the whack-over-the-head-and-drag-back-to-the-cave type.

Not all hyenas and lions are enemies

She looks fine, just concentrate on airbrushing the pole instead

I bear very little affection for giant squid

Thank goodness they used contraception when they were together

Can I put my top back on now?