Unraveling around the edges

All those crochet classes really paid off!

Beware foreign interlopers

These birds didn't look British enough to me, so I wrung their necks with my bare hands.

No need to call child services

Somebody call a cab, I'm too drunk to drive my mum home.

Unnecessary use of alien force

Oh great Queen of the planet Ulsdjxxzlkcclakhqdj please don't kill me, I'll take you to my leader as requested.

Next time I'll ask him to do the neck as well

Plan B

I've run out of money - let's go rob some banks!

Equality for all

With the right number of frequent flyer miles, even street urchins can travel first class nowadays.

I can get you a great deal on a second-hand baby

Till adultery do us part

Not impressed

If this is my dad, then granddad must be older than Methuselah.

How not to blend into the crowd

The stoned, the bad and the ugly

The pregnancy glow

Drink driving is a thing of the past now that I've discovered water!

Excuse me, my breasts are down here. Stop checking out my hair.

Leave your inhibitions at the clothing store

Hey! Hands off the firecrotch!

It's called a manpurse thank you very much

Just like how grandma used to make

Safety in numbers

Kate Beckinsale was unable to hide her relief upon finding one other person who thought the 80s rocked really hard.

Thank you, I'll be impersonating Eva Longoria in Tokyo all week

The embarrassed leading the blind