Simple pleasures

"Yippee, it's haircut and tight t-shirt day today!" cried Maddox Jolie-Pitt

Never go brawling in a kimono

Recycling dead blondes was her hobby

Please see a doctor for further advice

Pretty soon the disease had spread from her genitals to the rest of her body.

They told me I"d be working with Shakira

Crackhead: The Musical

I got rhythm
I got music
I got Kate Moss
Who could ask for anything more?


I snort candy
In my nose,
I smoke heroin


Who could ask for anything more?


I got stardust
I got sweet stuff
I got my dealer


Who could ask for anything more?
Who could ask for anything more?

Sharon's choice

At some point in life a woman's gotta choose between keeping her face or her vagina evergreen

The room just got a whole lot more crazier

The Iranian Catherine-Zeta Jones (without the grandpa-husband)

As pure as uncut cocaine

Tell me Clarice, have the lambs stopped jigging?

Bland and Blander

An unsettling experience

For the first time in her life, Martha Stewart was reduced to a drivelling mess.

Evading the paparazzi

OMG photographers, quick let's turn side on and disappear!

Scouting for extras for Basic Instinct 3

Just between you and me and the police

An animal was murdered in the vicinity of my crotch. Don't touch my pants or you'll compromise the investigation.

The rehab centre was packed with people waiting to hear Father Crackhead's sermon

Are you kidding me?

You mean there are people who read Playboy for the articles? That's crazy. It's like saying there are people who watch my movies for the plot instead of my fine ass.

I'm so glad I didn't end up buying that gingerbread house

It was time for Jake to go for a blatantly Oscar-bait role

The cleanest Colin Farrell has ever looked

And tell Stella her clothes suck!

Naomi, for the last time quit calling me your big ole ape

The side view is a little flashy for my tastes